one fifty two am

cant sleep.

spent most of today at home with the fam.
went to paso with mama to listen to alaska kids play country music.
watched "say anything" with john tonight.
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i think way too much.
especially on things that wont matter much in the end..but are part of the process of life/relationships,ect.
but some days i step outta my self and wonder,
how healthy are these relationships?
how much do i give before i am taken-up by other folks?
there has got to be some ME left to me.
i tend to offer a lot of my self/emotion/attention to those of others at times and i know having these relationships are good and growin but i dont quite have the balance of it all. of where the lines draw-up selfishness or emotional overload or what have ya.
i dont know. i know what love feels like to me. i know it enough to feel strongly on it and radiate heat in my spirit and guts and be passion. but there is so much more to it. which i suppose comes in time and experiencing life with folks. i just know what i think it ought to be? or could be? ..which is Love.

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..cant sleep.